broken heart, celibacy, homosexuality, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Long road to ruin

Sometimes, a wrong decision can haunt you for years. How can you know that? Well, it’s simple, maybe your consciousness is torturing you about it all the time. But for some people, a simple wrong decision can have huge aftermaths as they kept on making mistakes after it. An example?

B.,38, is married with two children. He started an affair four years ago with a woman he met during a seminar in another town, and developed with her true bonds each time he went back to this town. She got pregnant with him, and he recognized the child as his. His wife doesn’t know anything about the other woman, while she just wants the situation to stop. He fears that one day, his wife will discover the truth, because she will eventually. It’s impossible not to know. B. can’t choose between the two women of his life because he loved them both, in a different way however.

Another example? “I fell in love with my husband although I knew he was gay. I got pregnant with him very rapidly and he felt obliged to marry me because of that. Deep inside of me, I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t end the relationship to let him live like he wanted. I also know that one day, I will have to let him go, and that our daughter will suffer about my wrong decision”H., 36, said.

I left my studies to become a lawyer to follow that man I met in a bar. We married, but two years later, we decided to divorce because we simply couldn’t get along anymore. And  I  ended up doing little jobs just to earn my life. I hate this situation. I know I should go back to school, but I can’t because my jobs are eating all my time” P., 32, said.

Of course, not all of us suffer from a wrong decision. G., 34, accepted to sacrifice everything in her life to follow her man abroad, including her studies, and she’s happy about it as her love life is on the right track.  L., 35, is living in a triangle relationship with two men who know about the existence of each other and don’t bother about it. “I’m happy like that, I don’t see why I would have to change anything” she said.

I believe you have to be honest with yourself and with the other when you take a “wrong” decision. Besides, some people don’t consider their act as wrong. It’s a question of point of view.

So, have you ever taken a wrong decision that still haunts you today?

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broken heart, celibacy, homosexuality, life, love, men, relationships, sex, thoughts, women

All about chemistry

Yesterday, I got a confirmation of what I said at the beginning of the week. If I write about something, I will get the incarnation of this topic within 24 hours. One of my friends, who’s 30, just told me she fell for a much older man than her. He’s 53, and her patient. She said she feels really really attracted to him even if he’s not that handsome, and that each medical visit she pays to him is really special because of that. But she can’t do anything with him because he’s married. And in the end of February, he will leave the country to go back to Canada. She told me it was a real torture for her to not be able to concretise her attraction for him.

How I understand her. Not so long ago, I was a little bit in the same situation than her, but with a different scenario that includes a loving and caring partner I couldn’t possibly leave or cheat on and a douchebag of first category that might be gay. Seriously, I could really imagine D. getting fucked in the backroom of a gay club.  I didn’t find him handsome, but there was something about him that really turned me on.  But nothing happened.

Why do we fantasize like that on things we couldn’t have?  In the case of my friend and mine, we both hit a difficult period in our life that went hand in hand with a lot of doubts and self-esteem issues. My friend told me she got flattered by her old man when he started to flirt with her, and that helped her to regain a little bit of confidence. With D., it was a little bit the same,  although it was the Scottish shower all the time. I got distant with him when he tried to get closer. He got distant with me when I tried to get closer. And I still don’t know if he was flirting with me.

In both cases, we knew that starting a relationship or just yielding to temptation would only bring pain. My friend doesn’t want to ruin a marriage, I didn’t want to ruin my relationship for just an attraction.

Have you ever been attracted to someone you know you can’t have?

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broken heart, celibacy, homosexuality, life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, sex, thoughts, wacky, women

I would do anything for love…

… but I won’t do that (and certainly not with Meatloaf)

 Depending on how inhibited we are, there are things we won’t accept when it comes to sex. I still remember, when I was younger, a pajama party I had with other girls of my classroom, we did a test we found in a magazine about sex, and my surprise when the so-called slut of my school told us she found oral sex utterly disgusting and that she didn’t like it when she was taken from behind. The other girls were just offended by every question in the test. Now, more than ten years later, I bet some of them have changed their view a little about sex.  But now we’ve grown up, there are still some sexual practices we don’t do.

“He asked me to accept some of his fantasies, like massaging him naked or dressing like a nurse when we made love. But once, he asked me to use a pelvic toy to penetrate him, and that was too much for me to handle. I left him” B., 32, said.

I could have accepted a threesome with another man, but not with another woman. And he didn’t agree at all with me on this, so we split” K., 31, said.

Anything that is associated with swinging or sadism and masochism is a turn off for me” J., 30, said.

I can accept a lot of things, but once, I had a lover who asked me to pee and shit on him. That’s a definite no-no” P.,35, said.

I don’t like oral sex on me. I find that just disgusting. But curiously, I don’t mind sodomy” L., 36, said.

I must say that I don’t like a lot of things when it comes to sex. I don’t want to try a lot of things, that include swinging, BDSM, scatology, threesome, … I don’t like the animal side of all of these”H., 31, said.

So, if your partner asked you a sexual favour you’re totally against, would it be a turn off?

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broken heart, celibacy, homosexuality, humor, life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, sex, thoughts, wacky, women

Let’s get physical

I discovered something incredible yesterday: if I write a topic, the incarnation of this topic would show within 24 hours in my life. I wrote a post about assholes, and minutes after, I got the privilege to go to lunch with senator Douchebag himself, D. Unfortunately, this has never worked with Maynard. Maybe I should try again :mrgreen:

In the three months we haven’t seen each other, Mr. Douchebag has subscribed to a gym club and got a little bit more muscular than before he was fired from our company. Since he was wearing around his neck a pass for his gym club (WTF????), I couldn’t help thinking about this ad that we can see everywhere in the city.

passage-fitness.jpg

It translates as following: Improve your sexual life… do some fitness for only 15 euros.

Yeah, I have a twisted mind 👿

More seriously, this makes me think: do we like when men are athletic? Yes and no.

Most of my female friends (for the gay ones, they have a slightly different view on this) prefer when it looks “natural” than the result of hours spent lifting weights at the gym. And I agree with them.

“When I look at athletes like a football player or a basketball player, I just feel envy. When I look at muscle men in the gym, I just feel pity for them” says one of my friends. “Besides, those who spend hours at the gym must be narcissistic, while pure athlete less”  she added. Given how narcissistic D. is, I can’t deny that. 

So, which one is the most appealing?

First, the athletes.

Michael Phelps Ricardo Kaka

Then, the bodybuilders.

Tough choice, isn’t it?

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celibacy, homosexuality, life, love, men, miscellaneous, sex, thoughts, women

Free love

How do we deal with the loss of desire in a couple? Some people just choose to seek for the greener grass elsewhere, once or more. Some others experience swinging. I’ve noticed that people are more opened to talk about this delicate topic than before. Maybe it’s because mentalities are slowly evolving? When you read female magazines, this subject is more and more put on the table.

The few women I’ve met that accepted to tell about their experience have different points of view on this. If you believe what is said on Wikipedia, 60% of swingers said that swinging improved their relationship. Yet,  this aspect isn’t as obvious as it seems. “I’ve experienced swinging once, because my husband wanted me to do so. I was terrified when we entered the club. I didn’t want to do the full swap with another man, in front of my husband. That was my condition, and he accepted it. I just accepted to kiss another man, a total stranger that was wearing a mask, and gave him a blow job. Once this was finished, I didn’t want to talk about this with my husband.  I felt something had broken between us. Six months after this experience, we decided to call it quits. It didn’t consolidate our couple, it just tore it apart” M., 35, said.

“The problem with swinging is there are a lot of hidden traps. I’ve seen some women falling in love with their swapping partners, some couples unable to deal with the jealousy that lies beneath and is inevitable, some others manage however to find a balance in all of this. But both of the partners must agree on this game, and there are rules to be followed. My husband and I agreed we couldn’t assist to each other’s full swap. This has to be done in separate rooms, with a different partner each time and only in the club. We don’t bond with our swapping partners either. So far, we’re both happy with this deal, and this has improved our relationship a lot. We feel more conniving than ever”P., 37, said.

I anticipated his future need to seek for the greener grass. That’s why I pushed him to go to those clubs together” O., 36, said.

I was the one who wanted to experience swapping, not him. I wanted to put a little spice in our relationship, because we got into a routine that was difficult to bear for me. And I wanted to experiment sex with a woman. I’ve noticed that most of the women who come in those swinging clubs do so because of that” Y., 32, explained.

Would you take part in a sexual experiment like this? Personally, I think you’ve got to be on the same wavelength than your partner to experiment this. And since I don’t like to share, and the light of my life either, swinging isn’t my cup of tea.

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blogging, homosexuality, life, love, men, miscellaneous, reflexion, relationships, women

It’s none of your business

We always say curiosity is an unpleasant defect, but we can’t help being curious. Sometimes, it’s not a big deal, but sometimes, it can hurt the object of your curiosity.

At my office, rumor has it that one of the freshly-hired journalist is gay. Why? Well, he has a particular taste for music (he likes opera, unusual for a 28 year-old guy) and he’s a bit effeminate. He’s not open about his sexuality like some of my other colleagues, and everyone is teasing him about his coming-out.

It has come to a point where he’s feeling a bit rejected because of that. I feel so sorry for him right now. To my eyes, he’s just an annoying guy who talks all the time about opera and loves to juggle with words. I don’t care if he’s gay or not and I don’t want to know.

This kind of teasing is frequent in my country, but it’s not mean in its intentions.  Homosexuality isn’t a taboo here, because we’re one of the most open european countries about it. Marital unions between two persons of the same sex has been authorized  for years, and we don’t hear much about sexual discriminations.

On the other hand, what I read recently about some cases in Italy is really making me sad. A 17 year-old boy committed suicide because he was accused by his teacher of being gay in front of all his classmates. Italy isn’t reknown to be gay-friendly, ndlr.

Why do we speculate like that on potentially gay people? In this society, you have to fit in the mould. You have to be thin, beautiful, tall, white, married and have children. If you’re not, people will start to mock you, and this can go really far.

When you’ve been single for a long period, and that no one has ever seen you in the company of another person, rumors will start to rise. One of my friends, who’s into that situation, told me about the craziest rumors that circulated about her at her office.”They thought I was dating a sugar daddy I was ashamed to be seen with because I have a taste for expensive things, then they thought I was gay. None of this is true” she said. “Now, to their eyes, they think I’m a desperate spinster” she added. 

Luckily for her, she didn’t pay attention to all these rumors about her. “Work is work, I don’t try to socialize with my colleagues. I have my friends for that, so I couldn’t care less about what they think, unless if it’s about how I work”she said.

But some people in the same situation don’t react as well as she does.  Have you ever been involved in it? And how would you react if you were suspected of being gay?

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