He’s on Tinder, with a sole picture of his face, taken in chiaroscuro. Some female magazines warn you not to swipe right those kind of pictures. Those who use this art technique for their profile picture don’t want to be recognised on Tinder, either because they are famous (TV presenters, comedians, …) or because they don’t want their female acquaintances to recognise them. If you swipe right him by accident, and don’t engage the conversation, he will try to connect with you. He will ask for a date right away, without asking you any questions. If you don’t answer his invitation, he will keep on sending you an invitation to a date, until you say yes. You tell yourself why not after all. It’s just a drink. It won’t lead you anywhere. You’ve been there many times, to those dates where after just 30 minutes, your friends send you a message so you have an excuse to run away from your bad date.
He’s late on your first date. You tell yourself you’re weak to wait for him. You don’t know yet he’s not worth your time. He has apologised for his tardiness, saying he’s never late, usually. You don’t believe him. He tells you to order a drink and wait for him. You look around you, and see a group of three men next to your table. You should have started the conversation with them, but you’re too shy to interrupt their conversation. And they don’t look at you. Only the waitress notices there’s something wrong, and tells you you can’t stay here for long, because the place is booked for a birthday party. She tells you that with a big smile and wink at you. She’s seen many bad dates where the guy or the woman was a no show at all.
It’s raining outside. The sky has cracked several times. You manage to reach the bar where your date is set between two thunders and heavy rain. But he doesn’t. When he arrives at the bar, he’s soaking wet. You feel sorry for him. Even though you shouldn’t. You look at him, and you feel a bit disappointed because he’s not that handsome. But you tell yourself you’re not shallow, and he’s not that unattractive, even if his clothes are wet and stick to his body. He’s not athletic, so the view is not exciting. You think the guys you see at your gym would all look hot in that situation. He’s not. But he starts the conversation, and try to make you at ease. He’s nice with you, listens to what you say and asks you questions again, without interrupting you when you talk. You think the evening is lovely with him, but when he asks you to go somewhere for a last drink, you just tells him you have to leave because you have something to do early tomorrow. He seems disappointed but asks you when you want to see him again. So you set another date with him, a week later, because you want to analyse the date. You’ve been so burned before by players of all kinds. You are on the defensiveness.
Two days later, he sends you a message, asking you if you’re available for a lunch one of these days, despite the date you set. You accept, because he proposed to come near your office so you don’t waste your time in public transport. You find it a bit weird to have lunch with him. Your previous dates all happened at night. None of the guys you dated before asked you to have lunch with him. And you find him a bit impatient. He doesn’t want to respect the pace you set.
He’s on time, this time. When you see him on the street, you tell yourself again, you don’t find him very attractive. He tells you he has a call on 2pm so you don’t have much time to talk to him. During the conversation, he compliments you on the way you look. You thank him. And blush. Because he looks at you in a way it makes you a bit uncomfortable. He doesn’t try to touch you. The other guys you dated did show you they were attracted to you by touching your forearm, mirroring your behaviour or even holding your hand. He offers you to walk back with you to your office. He doesn’t try to hold your hand, or to kiss you.
The D Date for your date, he invites you at his place, because he lives near the center of the town. He says you could walk easily to the restaurant from his place. He doesn’t lie. You think he will make his advance because it’s his place. But when you arrive at his apartment, he just welcomes you like he would welcome a friend. He asks you if you want to have a drink before going to the restaurant. Instead of one glass, he drinks three. You see he’s nervous.When you arrive at the restaurant, the place is already full. But he talks to the manager, who promises him a table in ten minutes. The manager offers us a drink outside as a compensation for the waiting period. And there, out of nowhere, he tells you you’re beautiful, and that he wants to kiss you. He adds he had to drink to have the courage to say this, because he thought you would reject him. You feel smitten. During the dinner, he bends several times to kiss you. He holds your hand and doesn’t want to leave it even when you eat. You tell to yourself you’re going to sleep with him tonight. Because you feel chill in your body every time he touches you.
You think about Stormi Daniels, the porn star who used to be Donald Trump’s mistress. She said we all sleep with people we will regret. You tell yourself you will regret to sleep with him when you arrive at his apartment. And when he undresses you, you think if he doesn’t call you tomorrow, he’s just an asshole. Then, out of nowhere, his hand hits your ass. Not once. During the night, he hits it several times. It doesn’t hurt, but none of your previous lovers did this. You had some who pinched yours gently, and it stopped there. He tells you how beautiful you are, and how he’s excited. He talks a lot during sex. You would like him to shut up. It’s very late at night, and he offers you to stay at his place. But you tell to yourself you can’t wake up and leave him sleeping. His grip makes you understand you need to stay.
The morning after, when the morning hunts you down, you just drink your coffee while he returns to his bed. He makes the effort to wake up and accompany you to the front door of his building. He doesn’t say anything except goodbye. You don’t expect him to call you.
A day later, he leaves you a message, asking you how you are. He asks you for another date with him, but only during the week. It’s saturday, but he has other plans. You agree to see him the next Wednesday and he agrees. He doesn’t text you during that break.
That day, he welcomes you by undressing you, and spanks you. After sex, he asks you if you want to go out, or stay at his place. It’s raining outside, and the thunder strikes again. You don’t feel to go out. So he offers you to cook for you. And tells you to talk to him. But you don’t know what to say. So you ask him questions. And you let him do the talk. He doesn’t ask you questions anymore. Instead, everytime you tell him something, he critizes it. He also guns down every topic you bring in the conversation, and tries to prove you wrong. You don’t find him so charming at all at that moment. You think the veil has come down. This time, he’s not as passionated when you have sex. After letting you come on him, he throws away the condom, but you know he hasn’t come. He asks you to do a hand job. And when he’s about to come, he tells you he wants to ejaculate on your face. You accept. You feel his sperm running down your face, and crashing into your hair. The bad news is you will have to sleep like that, with his sperm on your hair. You don’t sleep well. Also because his phone rings during the night, several times.
The next morning, you feel a bit disoriented. You leave him. But you just want to have a shower and stay in bed. A friend of yours asks you to come at her place, but you refuse. You feel a bit disgusting.
This time, he leaves you no message. Days go by, until you decide to call him and ask him to see each other. He accepts, but again, only during the week. You feel a bit hesitant to go to his place again. Because you don’t know how he will react. He doesn’t make you at ease. This time, he doesn’t touch you. He just asks you to have a drink with him. And then, he tells you he bought a Da Vinci IQ, a vaporizer for weed. He’s been smoking that non stop for the past five days. He offers you to share a puff with him. You accept. At least, when he’s high, he’s not mean with you. But he doesn’t touch you. He lets you sleep with him. And again, his phone rings several times during the night.
The next morning, he makes you hurry up because he has to be at the opposite of the town in an hour. He’s cold and distant. He just kisses you when you leave his apartment.
Again, he leaves you no message. But this time, you don’t contact him. Days go by, and you don’t get any news from him. You feel he’s trying to ghost you. You’re worried about that. So you break your rule and asks him why he’s not contacting you. And then he tells you he met somebody else, and that he should have told you earlier. You drop your phone, and feel your hand shaking. You don’t reply to him.
Since then, he has vanished. You just make sure he will never come back into your life. Never.