Sometimes, it’s better to keep our mouth shut. But unfortunately, everyone of us can’t do this, and that’s how we can end up in an imbroglio and hurt people. Usually, as we grow old, we learn to remain silent when we should, and speak when we should too.
Keeping it quiet has also one advantage: at least, you’re not talking shit on someone else’s back. Many many times, I told myself not to say anything bad on the others, but I can’t help it, especially if I’m stimulated by my friends or my colleagues, or if I believe I’ve been taken as a fool. And I often get badly rewarded for that, as people always manage to know what I think about them, thanks to other people who simply tell them about what I said.
This flaw can cost you a lot of trouble, including in your love life. One of my friends experienced it once when she was invited at a party in her ex’s house. She told me she was discussing with two other women and the conversation slipped on gay couples. My friend said she didn’t mind about them, except that she couldn’t understand how a woman could enjoy another woman’s pussy and how it would be boring to sleep with another woman. The problem was that the two women she was chatting with were both lesbians, and got a bit offended by what she said. On top of that, one of the two was her ex’s sister, and he was infuriated by her offense against his sister, so she got dumped for that. This is a bit harsh for my friend, but you never know how susceptible people can be.
Another friend of mine told me he completely ruined a date with a wonderful lady just because he couldn’t shut up when he should have. “We were talking about politics, and I kept on making bad jokes about Nicolas Sarkozy and his new wife. I said to her I bet they would have a baby and a miscarriage just right after their marriage, and she looked at me as if I said an horror. Three days later, I learned by one of her friends she just suffered the trauma of a miscarriage. I did try to apologize to her, but she wouldn’t listen to me” he said. I told him that this is something you never say to a woman, it’s just horrible (yes, I’m also pissed by my friend right now…).
Censorship is a cancer, but yet, you can’t tell anything to anyone. Because we are sociable human beings, we have to deal with the others’ susceptibility. And there are topics you should never mention in front of everyone.
So, have you ever said something offending non intentionally to someone you like?