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broken heart, life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, thoughts, video, women

Use somebody

I had a strange year last year, where I met probably the weirdest and most intelligent person on this planet who has become a great friend, even though we have a kind of secret friendship. His job and mine don’t allow us to be friends. It’s against my deontology. It’s against his. Only my friends and family knows about our friendship. I don’t feel comfortable defending him in my newsroom, where he is truly hated by all my coworkers. This guy isn’t the man  everyone thinks he is. He gave me the greatest advices I could ever receive for my career, and I consider him a little bit like my mentor.

I read once an article about Meredith Whitney, that financial analyst and managing director at Oppenheimer & Co who correctly  predicted the mess we’re in. She also got trained by a man who became her mentor. But contrary to me, she didn’t lie at all about their relationship.

We all have a special someone who serves as a spiritual guide for us. It  can be a person from the same sex than us. It can also be a person from the opposite sex. Generally, this person is older than us. But he/she presents a very similar personality to yours, except that he/she has already lived the experiences you’re about to discover. Even though I know I’m not as intelligent as B. and don’t come from the same social cast, we share some common points and he has become a precious help in my job and a source of inspiration for my articles.

Some people fall in love with their mentor. Some don’t. I’ve met some women who told me their mentor was also their lover. Some women told me they married their mentor. Some told me they made him the godfather of their child. Some said they were just friends.

So, have you ever had a mentor?

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celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, sex, thoughts, video, women

Behind closed doors

There’s one movie that left a strange footprint in my mind when I saw it for the first time: the unbearable lightness of being.

I didn’t know the script was inspired by the book of the same name written by Milan Kundera and I didn’t hear about the author before either.

In the book, but also in the movie, Sabina, a painter who’s Tomas’ mistress, always wore a hat when she and Tomas met to have sex. That hat had an erotic meaning between them. But when she wore that with one of her other lovers, it lost completely its meaning. And her lover just said to her it was ridiculous and asked her to take that off.

The little games we play with our lover are unique and don’t work with another one. Things can take a certain meaning throughout the time we spend with our lover and create a bond between us. That’s why it makes it so unique. Have you noticed that with each lover you have, you have different codes, behaviors, ignition tricks?

Some people used a lot of sex toys and can include BDSM into their sexual life. Some people don’t need that. I asked around me if people used any trick in the bedroom, and this is what I got:

We just love to undress in front of a mirror, and often look at each other performing the sexual act. But apart from that, nothing else” H., 36, said.

I enjoy the dime light of a candlelight in the bedroom” O., 36, said.

We play our favorite songs”P., 37, said.

From time to time, we use massage oil and scented powder. Sometimes, food like chocolate invite themselves in the bedroom” L., 36, said.

Sometimes, we used sex toys like a vibrating egg or ring if we feel like it. Otherwise, we just go with the flow”M., 34, said.

“It depends on our moods. we can use sex toys, fine lingerie, food,… when we want to” I., 30, said.

So, do you use any trick in the bedroom?

 

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blogging, life, miscellaneous, thoughts, video, wacky, women

The fantastic four

One of my friends sent me a meme consisting in answering those questions below. It was due for over two months, so here it is.

  1. Four jobs I had in my life:
    1. banker
    2. journalist
    3. TV assistant
    4. Camp monitor
  2. Four films I could watch over and over again
    • Chungking Express
    •  
    • Amelie
    • Brazil
    • The pillow book
  3. Four places where I lived
    • Brussels
    • San Francisco
    • Manila
    • Namur
  4. Four TV shows that I watch
    • Grey’s anatomy
    • Sex and the City
    • CSI
    • House
  5. Four places where I went on vacation
    • Firenze
    • Chamonix
    • Zurich
    • New York
  6. Four internet sites I always visit
  7. Four dishes/food I couldn’t eat
    • cucumber
    • guts, feet, tongues,…
    • fennel
    • Bergamote tea
  8. Four dishes that I like
    • cookies
    • spaghetti alla bolognese
    • risotto
    • sushi
  9. Four places where I want to be right now
    • London (where someone I really miss lives)
    • Dublin
    • Paris
    • Near my man
  10. Four people that will take this tag

→ whoever wants to take this meme

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humor, life, love, men, miscellaneous, Music, thoughts, video, wacky, women

Start wearing purple

According to newspapers, this man below is in line with this  year fashion trends.
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Why? Because he wears purple (his hair colour), this year Autumn/Winter colour.

To be more accurate, the Autumn/Winter 2008  fashion trend is to be copied from this group.

And in particular, from his lead singer, Eugene Hütz, the Pied Piper of Hutzovina.

Gosh, this man makes me want to drink vodka heavily with him and dance on the table… (sigh).

Note that the moustache isn’t out of fashion yet, unfortunately.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months” wrote Oscar Wilde. How right was he.

Here’s the question of the day: is there any fashion style that makes you run away? And have you ever disqualified a potential companion because of his/her look?

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broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, sex, thoughts, video, women

Comfortably numb

Recently, a French singer’s wife filed for divorce because of his addiction to poker. I guess it wasn’t the addiction itself that pushed her to end her marriage with him, but more the fact that she felt completely left out or secondary feels in this relationship. This raises a question: is it possible to live and have a happy relationship with someone who’s an addict?

Yes and no. It depends on the kind of addiction and on your level of tolerance toward it. For example, smoking is considered as an addiction, but it still possible to live a happy relationship with a smoker, even if you’re a non-smoker.  Some people can’t stand dating a smoker, while other wouldn’t care about this little detail. “I can’t understand the non-smokers that date or live with a smoker”once said a friend of mine, who is allergic to tobacco. “My husband smokes a lot, but I’ve established rules in our house: he must smoke outside the house, and he can’t smoke when he’s next to me. I would never change him for a non-smoker, though. This is the man I love, and this is just a little compromise”H., 35, said.

Smoking is the kind of addictions that has little consequences on your couple (except if your companion is stricken with lung cancer because of his/her frequent consumption of cigarettes throughout the year).

Other addictions, on the other hand, can have huge aftermaths on a relationship. The most obvious example is drug addiction. “My ex-husband had a huge problem with cocaine. He started to take this drug to handle the pressure of his job, and it soon began to develop into an addiction. It wasn’t the consumption itself that was the problem, but the side-effects of it. He became paranoid and really unstable, I didn’t recognize him anymore. Since he wasn’t the person I married anymore, I had no other choice than to divorce”P., 40, said. Alcohol has the same downward effects on the addict. Two of my colleagues were married to men who became dipsomaniac to a point where they completely ruined their professional and private life. One of them is now a tramp. Yet, these are dramatic examples. “My husband had a problem with alcohol, but he understood he had a problem and sought treatment for that. I must say that if he hadn’t stop drinking, I don’t know if I would be at his side now”K., 37, said.

Then, there are other compulsions too that can rotten a relationship. Problem gambling, porn movie addiction, computer addiction,… the list can be long.  A friend of mine broke up with her man because he spent more time with his computer than with her. “He wouldn’t go out anymore, every free time he had, he would spend it on his computer plauing games. He didn’t care about me, so I just left him” she said.

Of course, these addictions can be cured. This simple hope pushes the addict’s companion to stay in the relationship. “If he had chosen to get some help, maybe I would have stayed with him. But he didn’t want to receive any treatment. I saw him taking the road to hell: he would disappear for day without telling me where he was, he provoked several accidents because he was driving under influence, he was violent when he was drunk,… He left me no choice”M., 41, said.

So, which addiction would you tolerate in your companion? And which one would be a turn off?

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