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I’ve got you under my skin

In some european countries, there’s a huge debate again on abortion. Countries like France make it more and more difficult for women to abort because either the period where you could pretend to have such an intervention is short either more and more gyno simply refuse to do this, for ethical reasons or by religious choice. What a friend of mine, who’s an MD, told me about this phenomenon is quite astonishing. She said that it’s difficult for a gyno to see a woman coming in her/his office with such a request, because you cannot avoid judging her even if your profession urges you not to do so. She also explained that some women’s behaviour against birth control just makes her react. “I’ve seen some women who have already gone through abortion coming again in my office to ask me for another one. I have to tell them to be more careful with their contraceptive methods, but for some of them, you could already predict they will pay you a visit sooner or later again because they didn’t take too much precaution when having sex” she said.

Abortion is one consequence of not protecting yourself when you have sex (with a condom, of course), but not using that little piece of rubber has also other terrible aftermaths. Curing AIDS is now well developed, but you can’t heal from this disease yet. And there are also a lot of STDs around like hepatite, herpes,… I’m simply appalled to know there are so many contraceptive methods on the market, but not used as much as they should.

I’ll make a clear distinction here between birth control and avoiding STDs. The pill, patch, vaginal ring belong to the category of hormonal methods. It protects you from having a baby, but not against STDs. Cervical barriers don’t either. Condoms (male and female) do. You only use the first and second category when you know that your partner (and you) are HIV negative. When you meet for the first time in bed, condoms should always be in the party.

But when you ask people why they don’t follow these simple rules, it’s just appalling. “I just got caught up in the heat of the action. Asking him if he had a condom with him was like interrupting the moment” said a lucky lady who didn’t catch (yet) an STD. “I just forgot in the heat of the action” K.,30, said. “I always hesitate to ask him about that”L., 32, said. “I feel like a slut if I ask about that” P.,28, said.

And gentlemen, you’re also responsible. I’ll take my personal example for a change on this. Most of my exes ( I don’t have many, mind you) asked me if I took the pill the first time we got intimate. And I know I’m not the only one in that case. “He just felt relieved when I told him I took the pill” explained L.,31. “He got mad at me because I didn’t take the pill. But I had been for a long time single, and I didn’t need to take any contraceptive methods during this long period” O., 30, said.

It’s difficult to tell the guy you really like to put a condom on. But if he refuses, you shouldn’t yield to his pressure. But if you’re suicidal, or just live for danger, then go for it.

So, is a sexual partner refusing to use a protection like condoms a total turn off for you?