celibacy, dating site, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Future sex

In her book “Future Sex“, the journalist Emily Witt explores the limit of what we would call free love. She writes about her experience with online dating, porn, polyamory, internet babes and the childless option. If I do follow her conclusions, this list may predict the future of relationship, where internet have a strong place, except for polyamory (although I have met on dating app some men who were into this type of open relationship).

 The journalist wrote she had a problem feeling attracted by the men she met online. I do understand her, because I’m  bit lost on dating app like Tinder. I don’t really feel attracted right away by a man just by looking at his picture. Emily Witt said she wasn’t  into her online date when she met them face to face. Maybe it’s because women don’t have a smell cue when they meet someone online. That smell cue can be useful when you meet someone face to face in a bar or a cafe or a concert,… The journalist compared the attraction she had for men she met in parties, bars, … and men she met online.

Emily Witt also wrote about a couple working for Google who are into polyamory. It’s not a surprise, since in the Silicon Valley, there is a new sexual revolution where love takes the form of many lovers at the same time. Elsewhere, it’s just infidelity or open relationships, which are not so sustainable on the long run , because we are jealous by nature.

This book rises a question: can we be ourselves if we multiply lovers, and if we allow the distance internet creates between people? The future looks bleak then.

On the other hand, internet remains a mean to meet people. But it’s just a way. Internet remains useless when it comes to create a bond with someone.  And it’s easy to think, thanks to dating apps, online dating,… we can always find someone better. It’s the best way to end up alone.

Yet, we can’t force people to stay into our life.

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broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts

Fifty shades of unhealthy grey

I read a lot, but there are books I don’t want to read, just because I’m against those which are popular for a wrong reason. For example, I didn’t read the book about DSK’s mistress, nor the one about our Royal Family written by a journalist, which made a scandal when they were released. I also tend to avoid Goncourt prizes and other prizes because of past disappointments. Yes, I’m a difficult reader.

Among those books I avoided, there was “Fifty shades of grey”. But according to a study led by a Michican State University, I have avoided unhealthy behaviors linked to reading this book.

When I saw the trailer for the movie, I thought it was funny I’ve never encountered such a situation. Because as a financial journalist, I often interview powerful alpha males. Some of my friends wonder if any of those guys have ever tried anything with me. But except one case, most of them just stay professional.

Unlike the lead character in the book, Anastasia, I don’t meet handsome alpha males like Christian Grey. First, most of them are above 50 year old, even 60 year old. Some of them aren’t good-looking. Second, they love being interviewed. They don’t interview me back. I had cases where the guys didn’t want to answer my questions. But hey, my interviews are not nice, because I tend to dig into financial datas to confront the guy. Oh, and I think they are not nice.

But usually, I’m often accompanied by either a PR or a photographer to do my interviews. I’m never always alone with the guy.

I would also hate to be treated like Anastasia, because I would wonder if I did send the wrong signal to the guy.

But like Anastasia, I sometimes don’t feel pretty enough. Yet, if any man tells me I should lose weight or do this and that, I tend to despise him and vow to avoid him.

Maybe because I’m older than 24, and have already experienced bad relationships I don’t want to repeat.

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life, men, miscellaneous, thoughts, women

The catcher in the rye

“Books are precious. We only lend these to the ones we trust” always says one of my friends. We have often discussed about this strange topic with her because it implies a lot of other consequences. For example, I don’t like to recommend a book I like to anyone, and it’s very oddly. I only give this details to the people I trust, the people I consider as my friends. Why? I fear these books won’t be read like it should be or be misunderstood by the one who reads it. For example, there’s a book I really, really love because it means a lot to me and offers me a lens in which I can see the world, but the book and the author are a bit controverted. I fear, and I know it’s stupid, people would make a strange association with the book and my personality.

When you think about it, the books we read say a lot about our personality. If we pick only the best sellers, or the latest “it” writer, it says that we like to follow the mass. Books about self-improvement say we want a new direction in our life. Chick lit is there to empty our head. Sci-Fi is a way to escape from reality,…

Recently, one of my friends gave me a book he really likes. It came as a joke between us. I told him he always picks tortured authors who have a very depressing vision on life. For instance, they all write around one theme: the absurd and ugliness of existence. And he replied I should read that book, but I should keep that for myself. When he mentioned the title, I was a little bit shocked. Simply because when I was in high school, our teacher referred to that book as one of the most controversial, but also beautifully written book. My friend told me he wasn’t interested in the controversy surrounding the book, but simply the writings. He said it was his source of inspiration. Period.

But I like to be shocked, to be honest.

So, is there a book you would recommend?

 

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