broken heart, celibacy, life, love, thoughts

Wuthering heights (not good enough for you)

Recently, one of my friends told a story about his ex’ s daughter and the man who used to be his significant other. His ex asked her daughter to stop this relationship because her man didn’t come from the same social circle than her family. “He’s a good guy, who fought hard to be where he is today. He’s smart. He has grit, and he has succeeded in his career. But he has not blue blood, and my ex wants for her daughter to date blue blood” he said. His relationship was also doomed because his ex didn’t like he wasn’t coming from a wealth family, even if my friend is a respected academic.

His ex comes from an industrial family which is very well known in my country. In theses families, there is a strong pressure to keep their prestige. My friend met her at a cocktail in the British embassy of my country.

It seems like since “wuthering heights”, nothing has changed much. In Emily Bronte’s novel, Catherine falls in love with Heathcliff but can’t marry him because of his low social status and lack of education.

My friend said he was rejected by his ex because he’s not wealthy enough for her. Although my friend is wealthy, he doesn’t own many properties unlike his ex. In “wuthering heights” , the wheel turned for Heathcliff, who becomes rich.

The wheel didn’t turn that much for my friend. He hasn’t become filthy rich since his breakup. And his ex didn’t lose her social status. In fact, after the breakup, my friend noticed he wasn’t invited to cocktails and garden parties anymore. But the wheel can still turn for him.

life, love, relationships

Use somebody

“Someone like you and all you know and how you speak”

Kings of Leon, Use somebody

Recently, one of my friends ended his four year relationship with his significant other. He met her during a cocktail party a long time ago, and she became friend with him.

My friend, although he’s very clever, has a weakness with the opposite sex. He has been fooled many times, and he still hasn’t learned from his mistakes.

After his divorce, he started a relationship with her. Men can’t stay single for long after a divorce, while for women, it’s often different. Some of my female friends have stayed single for long after their divorce, sometimes ten years, before jumping again in a new relationship.

His new significant other used to be a politician’s wife. He died of cancer a long time ago. She has a status of “femme du monde”, like we say here, designating women who are regular guests to banquets and cocktails party organized for the high society. They are also rich, sometimes famous, but not because of what they have accomplished. Usually, they appear on people magazine pages, dedicated to mundane cocktails and painting exhibitions. Not because they have published a book, nor won a tennis tournament, nor saved people,…  In my country, several magazines have some pages where you can see “important” people at business clubs, country clubs, art exhibition inaugural parties, … One of them tried to get rid of it, but it received so many complaints from readers it had to put those pages back on.

As a well respected intellectual figure, my friend was also invited to those events. He’s brilliant, so he has no problem attracting women (and men). Usually, people just listen to him with admiration.

That’s how he met her.

Several times during his relationship with her, he told me he was unhappy, because she was hysterical. She was mean with his daughter. He said she banned her from her house. He feared her.

Yet, curiously, he started to appear in people magazines, alongside her. Later, he told me it was her initiative, as she wanted to have her picture in those magazines.

In other words, she used him and his celebrity to get access to fame.

He only realized this recently. He had a difficult year last year, because of his job, and also a lawsuit. Sometimes, we need a shock in our life to realize what’s wrong with it.

She sounds like a manipulative personality. It’s not easy to get out of such a toxic relationship.