celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

He likes wealthy women

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I dream about wealthy women. I would like to date one of them who will want to sustain me” said one of my friends. He said that while laughing, adding he will probably last three weeks in this kind of relationship. He’s not a boy toy.

I told him he will be crushed in this kind of relationship because even if he’s not poor, his wealthy girlfriend would probably think he’s lazy or doesn’t do anything good. One of my friends, who used to date a wealthy woman, told me she was very mean with him, always gunning down him in front of other people. Wealthy people are much more meticulous about matters of law and propriety than people who are not that rich. So they are very careful about their wealth. In general.  My friend who used to date one of them told me his ex used him to parade at gala, but he felt she didn’t love him for who he is.

Women marry ‘up’ in income according to Elizabeth McClintock, but they tend to marry high status men when they are themselves high status. I don’t think a high status woman would be kind to sustain a man unless that man used to be high status. And even that case is not obvious.  I can’t see Amal Clooney leaving George to start a relationship with a man who just wants to be sustained by her. Nor Hillary Clinton, nor Melissa Gates,…

I don’t think I would accept to sustain a man either, to be fair. I expect the men I date to be financially independent at least. The only men I would sustain if there was a problem would be my godsons.

But I can understand my friend about some comfort to be in a relationship where your date invite you at his/her second/third/fourth residence located in the Bahamas, Courchevel, … Although I would be proud to pay for my vacations there…

 

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broken heart, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, wacky, women

Dream catch me

In the unbearable lightness of being, Milan Kundera explained that we all need to be watched. He divides the people in four categories according to this paradigm. The first one needs the look of a infinite number of people. The second one needs the look of familiar faces. The third one needs the look of the one they love (and without it, everything falls apart), and the last one lives under a imaginary look coming from absent people.

This last category belongs to the dreamers. I’ve met many people in the first, second and third categories described by Milan Kundera, but this one is really an exception as he said. Yet, when you think about it, when we break up with our partner, some people still act as if they were watched by their ex, even though he/she’s not there anymore. My former director, who was in the middle of a divorce when I left his company, did everything in his life in function of what his ex-wife would have liked him to do, strangely, although his ex left him for her gym teacher. Of course, it was temporary, but it showed that sometimes, we can all fall into this dreamer category, whether we’re conscious of it or not.

People who lose the one they love by a tragic death can also react like that. I confess that when one of my best friends died in an accident many, many years ago, I still reacted as if he would approve or disapprove what I was doing, and it lasted years after he passed away. He was like a brother to me, and we often fought when he was alive because of my then misbehaviors. I wasn’t an angel at that time, and his loss basically put my life under a huge questioning. He became a little voice inside my head that told me not to do this, or to do that.

Recently, I watched a report where a young homeless struggled to get herself out of the streets after her boyfriend’s death, and she had those words for the journalist: “I know he wanted me to have a better life, so I tried my best to get out of my situation. The temptation to go backwards is always there, but each time I doubt, I think about him, and it gives me the strength to carry on” she said. She reacted exactly as I did, many years ago.

Reacting like that, as if we were watched by someone absent, can be really helpful to us, in certain circumstances.

So, have you ever been in a situation like that? And under which category described by Milan Kundera would you fall?

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