life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Hang up

Ah, technology! Without it, it would be difficult to live nowadays. But how did our parents and our grandparents before, when the mobile phone/ blackberry/ computer didn’t exist? Today, if you don’t have a mobile phone and a computer (for the blackberry, it’s another thing), you’re considered as an alien. Yet, when you think about it, those devices can also poison our existence and our love life. Because if you use them all the time, you basically ruin your social life, and can disqualify easily in the game of love.

Among the technological devices we use the most today, the mobile phone/PDA is probably the one we use the most. Personally, I don’t use it that much, for the simple reason that I usually forget to turn it on (and it drives my boss and my entourage a little bit crazy, because they can’t reach me). I’m more addicted to my computer (mailbox, blog,…). But among my colleagues and my friends, this one is like a drug and they can’t live without it.

When you spend your life hung at your mobile, it can be annoying for the people around you. It can be interpreted as if you don’t care about them, and find the conversation you have with the person on the phone more interesting than the one who’s speaking to you right now. In other words, it can be disrespectful.

One of my professional contacts is a very busy man, and it’s difficult to join him because he’s constantly on the phone. Yet, when I have to interview him or just spend lunch with him, he has the courtesy to hang up his blackberry. He once apologized because he had to receive an important phone call from his big boss during our lunch, but apart from that, he’s really acting like a gentleman. And I must say I like that.

One of my friends once told me she encountered the opposite of him on a date, and that he managed to exasperate her after just ten minutes spent together. “Each time that his blackberry beeped, he had to look at it to see if he received an email. And it beeped all the time. I had the impression he didn’t care about me at all. Each time I began a conversation with him, we were interrupted by his blackberry. At the end of the date, I just knew I wouldn’t spend more time with me, since he wasn’t able to give me a little bit of his time, and by a little bit, I mean not just periods of seconds” she said.

Of course, some people don’t mind about that. I’ve seen many couples both hung at their mobile while in the restaurant, and they seem fine with that. It’s a question of point of view. Yet, it’s best to be on the same wavelength in that case. You won’t have the same ability to understand someone who can’t live without his blackberry if you’re not addicted yourself to that.

So, do you mind if the people you’re talking to interrupt your conversation to answer their phone?

celibacy, life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, thoughts, wacky, women

The real gentleman

Do you like gentlemen? I do. But how do you recognise a true gentleman? Well, it’s really simple. According to a newspaperI often read, a few details should immediately catch your attention. Example, if he has a problem with hygiene,  wears white sport socks with his leather shoes, or  a sleeveless T-shirt under his shirt, or his mobile phone attached to his belt,  there’s a big chance you have a lout.  Some other details are more subtle, like the fact he has to wear a tie with his suit, but leaves it if he takes off his suit. And no bling-bling. It’s just a matter of class, in that case.

Then, there’s the attitude.   Basically, he has to make you feel you’re worth it. If he grabs your ass, just lets the door shut in front of your nose or doesn’t offer to accompany you late in the night to get back to your home, he’s just a loser.  The right attitude for a man is to climb the stairs before you so he can’t take a look at your ass,  but go down first to catch you if you eventually fall. He also has to hold you the door when you walk in a room or when you go out of a car. But paying the bill at the restaurant doesn’ t make him necessarily a gentleman, although it’s better. You can decide to invite him too. However, he has to take charge of the tip.

Unfortunately, as some of my friends said, it’s not because men follow these principles that they are automatically a gentleman. “I dated this guy who had everything of a gentleman, except when we went to a restaurant. When we decided to leave and take back our coats in the cloakroom. The lady there couldn’t find mine, and he started shouting at her. This was a turn off for me” explained a friend of mine.  “There’s the guy who can be absolutely charming when you go out and turn into a monster, hanging in the house in brief, when you get to live with him” said another friend.

So, do you like good manners?