life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Living apart together (LAT)

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Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband, Brad Falchuk, don’t live together all of the time. She said they live apart three days per week, and together four days per week. Kaley Cuoco and her husband,  Karl Cook, don’ t live together every single day. But they plan to move together once their house is built. I also read Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband plan to move together.

One of my friends, who’s single, says he doesn’t want to live with his significant other all of the time. Because he needs some space.  His cousin doesn’t live with her husband every single day, because he has an apartment in a town where he’s a professor during the week. He only lives with her during the weekends and during his holidays. So far, their marriage is strong. They’ve been married for 20 years now. They are living apart together.

There are many reasons why we don’t live all of the time with our spouse/significant other. In my country, the law forbids married people to live apart, but in real life, there are married people who don’t live together all of the time. One of my acquaintances works in another country, not very far from our country. But his wife works in our country. So during four days of the week, he lives alone in a little apartment they bought together, while she lives in their house with their three children. One of my coworkers is married to a man who often travels around the world. He’s not always home because of that. Sometimes, he’s away for three weeks.

It takes a lot of trust to live apart from our significant other. Yet, some people find some agreements especially when we fall in love late in our life. Recently, one of my coworkers told me he interviewed one of our former ministers. He was surprised she told him her significant other just lives in the apartment next to hers, on the same floor. “Every one of us needs our space” she said. So, they agree not to live with each other. But they live very near to each other. When my coworker ended his interview, her significant other entered the room and went to the kitchen to have a coffee. “He’s always welcome here, of course” she told him. My coworker, who’s married, admits he doesn’t understand this.

Does distance (some of it) keep the flame of love alive? There’s always the risk to grow apart from our significant other.

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