celibacy, life, love, relationships, thoughts, women

Asking your friends to set you up

Some people, tired of bad dates, ask their friends to set them up with their single friends. It’s not a bad idea, because people with similar values and interests tend to stick together, so the friend your friends want to set you up  may share a few values with you.

Taylor Swift’s latest boyfriend was introduced to her by their common friends, who thought they would match easily, for an example. For famous  people, the friends circle is  the safest way to meet a potential date. They can’t go on Tinder or any other apps because they will probably be harassed.

But non famous people can also feel safer with dating if their friends pre-approve your date because they know him/her.

There are no guarantee though your setup will turn into a relationship. A friend of mine told me she was set up with a man who wasn’t her type. She ended up furious over her friend who chose to set up the date. “I felt she didn’t know me very well” she said. In that case, it’s as unpleasant as if you were not warned you were set up. Last year, I ended up sitting next to a single man at a wedding. When he learned I was a journalist,  he started to rant against my profession. I tried to avoid him during the rest of the evening because he was just a jerk, and I was pissed off at my acquaintances for trying to set me up with that guy.

Your friends can also take the offense if you don’t like the  guy they picked for you. They might think you’re too picky.

Besides, being in the middle can be difficult for your friends if your setup for a reason don’t call you back, goes M.I.A.,… or if you don’t get along very well and complain to your friends about the setup.

That’s why some people avoid setting their friends up.

One of my friends told me she can’t set me up with her single male friends, because she knows they won’t be my type. “I know all of you very well, and I know you wouldn’t be a good match” she said. It’s wise, because we’re still friends, and I avoided some disastrous dates.

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