life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Boys of summer

What’s the use of having a perfect body? Well, it is to have the pleasure to be the center of the attention on the beach. This place is the ultimate one for physical discriminations because when you’re in a bathing suit or a bikini (or a monokini…), you can’t really hide your body. For a woman, cellulite is the number one enemy and varicoses too. It’s really not that pretty to watch, and if you’re affected with that, you have two options: either you don’t care and sunbathe, or you just stay with your clothes on.

When I was on holidays, just beside my parasol, there was a couple of Russians, where Madam was sunbathing in just a thong. The light of my life couldn’t detach his eyes off of her thighs, which were  heavily affected by cellulite. But  she didn’t care at all about this detail, and honestly, she reminded  me of a Rubens paint, but  with a tan. And she seemed really at ease with her body.  On the other side of my parasol, there was a German family, where the mother sunbathed almost naked like the Russian, but curiously, the two teenagers kept on all their clothes including if they went swimming in the sea. The girl just stayed under the shadow of the parasol all the time, and avoided carefully all the rays of sun.  Maybe when we grow old, we just don’t give a damn anymore about our looks. This would explain that.

In front of me, I had to enjoy the sight of a young male who knew he had a great body. He had the one of a chippendale, and to compliment his shape, he chose a orange bathing suit that flashed on the whole beach. It was difficult not to notice him. He was there with two of his mates, but he was the only one swimming in the sea, showing his ability to reach the buoy to everyone laying on the beach, especially to two blonde girls who were sunbathing not very far from his towel. He managed to get the number of one of the girls, but when the two left, he began to cruise again on the beach for another victim, and he found her. His two mates just watched him laughing the whole time. I bet they were shy and hadn’t the guts to flirt with the opposite sex unlike their friends. Personally, I would have preferred his two friends than him. Vain people just make me want to run.

So, do you consider the beach (and the bathing suit) like an ordeal? Or do you just ignore the others’ look?

broken heart, celibacy, homosexuality, humor, life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, sex, thoughts, wacky, women

Let’s get physical

I discovered something incredible yesterday: if I write a topic, the incarnation of this topic would show within 24 hours in my life. I wrote a post about assholes, and minutes after, I got the privilege to go to lunch with senator Douchebag himself, D. Unfortunately, this has never worked with Maynard. Maybe I should try again :mrgreen:

In the three months we haven’t seen each other, Mr. Douchebag has subscribed to a gym club and got a little bit more muscular than before he was fired from our company. Since he was wearing around his neck a pass for his gym club (WTF????), I couldn’t help thinking about this ad that we can see everywhere in the city.


It translates as following: Improve your sexual life… do some fitness for only 15 euros.

Yeah, I have a twisted mind 👿

More seriously, this makes me think: do we like when men are athletic? Yes and no.

Most of my female friends (for the gay ones, they have a slightly different view on this) prefer when it looks “natural” than the result of hours spent lifting weights at the gym. And I agree with them.

“When I look at athletes like a football player or a basketball player, I just feel envy. When I look at muscle men in the gym, I just feel pity for them” says one of my friends. “Besides, those who spend hours at the gym must be narcissistic, while pure athlete less”  she added. Given how narcissistic D. is, I can’t deny that. 

So, which one is the most appealing?

First, the athletes.

Michael Phelps Ricardo Kaka

Then, the bodybuilders.

Tough choice, isn’t it?