life, love, relationships

The age difference

lolita

In France, there’s a hot topic right now since the revelation from Vanessa Spinoza about the writer who used to be celebrated in intellectual circles. The scandal has triggered since the publish of Vanessa Spinoza’s book. But when I was a teenager, I reminded one of my teachers who warned us about the male writer and to never read any of his books.

I’ve read that age difference will be more suspected in the future because of this scandal. So what’s age difference is okay, and what’s not?

In general, a huge age difference in a relationship is not a good idea, because you don’t share any common experience with your significant other. Yet, it’s possible that an old man can fall in love with someone who’s 40 years younger than him. Some say it’s just dementia.

The new object of love of Silvio Berlusconi is 30, while he’s 83. Needless to say, when he was 50, she wasn’t born yet. And she doesn’t seem disgusted by him. But she’s 30, and an adult. So she may know why she has chosen him.

There are maybe other reasons why young people are attracted to much older people. It’s a question of fortune, network, fame, … But it’s not guaranteed to last forever, because old people die before them, in general.

That’s the problem with a much older significant other than you. Don’t forget he/she will age not well, and that diseases, cancers, vascular accidents,… can happen when we are old.

And besides, if you’re after his/her heritage, don’t forget there maybe other members of his/her family after that too.

Karl Lagerfeld, the deceased stylist, didn’t left anything to anyone around him, except to his cat, Choupette.

In the case of Vanessa Spinoza, she was a teenager, when she met the old writer. At that age, it’s not difficult to be influenced, especially if you come from a broken family.  One of my friends has a teenager. My friend is divorced but she looks after her daughter very well and doesn’t like when her “friends” treats her badly. My friend is very honest and direct with her daughter. And it’s important.

I have a niece who’s still a child. But when she will be a teenager, I guess I will be very honest with her and warning her about her relationships. Nowadays, teenagers are also the object of harassment on social media. I hope my niece will never experience this.

Standard
life, thoughts, women

The intermediate

une_histoire_d_amour_pix_1

In the scandal around Jeffrey Epstein, there are suspicions around the role of his ex-lover, Ghislaine Maxwell. Some people accuse her of  being his Madam, recruiting young women to perform massage etc to Jeffrey Epstein and his male friends. It reminds me of another case, the Edouard Stern’s case. He was a banker who was murdered by his ex-lover. He was found with four bullets in his body, two in the heads, while he was wearing a latex suit. His ex-lover and him used to play sexual games where she was often asked to recruit extra people.

I had an ex who asked me to bring men I meet in my gym class to him.I refused.  Because on one hand, I didn’t want to disrupt my peace when I’m going to the gym. I feel carefree when I’m going there. I don’t want it to change because of some guys, who live nearby the gym and in my neighborhood. A bad reputation is easy to learn and difficult to get rid of. In another hand, I don’t feel very seducing. Even if I was single, I couldn’t go and flirt with random strangers in the street or at a party,…. In another word, it screamed “no” in my head. And the relationship ended it there.

Why some people, often women, end up being recruiting people to please their partner’s sexual needs/phantasms? In the case of Maxmell, she seemed to accommodate this for the fabulous life she lived with Jeffrey Epstein, who was rich.  Until she had enough. In the case of Brossard, Edouard Stein’s ex-lover, she was also attached to him in a toxic way. It didn’t end well.

I don’t know if these agreements in relationship are sustainable on the long run. I just know I could never do this.

Beside, as the Maxmell/Esptein scandal showed, the people recruited for their sexual games didn’t disappear in nature afterwards. Some of them sued them.

Standard
life, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Different needs?

Getting your ex back

Recently, a scandal broke in France about some male journalists who created a Facebook group to mock bloggers, artists, journalists,… Especially female ones. Immediately, some articles about how some male journalists created a group on Slack called the Darrons or #radioBièreFoot. Those groups were just awful with female, especially young ones, journalists.

But it just says collaboration between male and female coworkers is still difficult nowadays. Before World War II, women were not a force in companies. They were most of the time housewives, who depended on their husband. My grandmothers were housewives. They raised my uncles, aunts, mother and father while taking care of the house. But no one of my aunts or mother is a housewife. They were or are still working for a hospital, a bank, a school. No one complained how difficult it was to work, but my mother, for example, was working with other women in her team. Even her boss was female. The same goes for my aunts.

It’s not my case. Even if during my college years, there were more women than men studying with me, in my professional career, I’m still a minority. As my profession is mostly a male one.

When I started to work, there was a scandal in my company about a guy who used to go to Thailand and Morocco and proposed BDSM, golden shower, and other joys, to women while promising them to marry them. Of course, he never married, but he collected pictures of his trophies, and shared it with his coworkers. It ended because one of the brothers of one of his victims recognized him and sued him. My coworker was fired because of that. But his male coworkers were not shocked by his attitude. They just found it funny.  Female employees in my company were just “stupid”, “desperate”, … Not very respected. Fortunately, some of those who were disrespectful either left or were let go and were replaced either by women or men who are respectful to everybody. There were just left two guys who flirted openly with the young female coworkers. During our office parties, one of them screamed he wanted to fuck X or Y, much to our dismay, and to the stupefaction of X or Y. Luckily, after many complaints to our HR, he was let go. The other one left us because he wanted to pursue other goals.

There are still tensions between opposite sex. Because we pursue different goals.  Women in general want equality, while men want to conquer. It ‘s difficult because of this.

 

 

 

 

Standard
broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Caught red-handed by social medias

In my country, the deputy city mayor of a town I don’t want to mention got caught in the middle of a sexual act by two young people who filmed the scene and then published it on Facebook.

The video went viral and caught the attention of several newspapers who put the video on their website with many details about the politician. Even my newspaper (a blog related to it) took the information but didn’t put the video. I’m a little bit ashamed of this. They shouldn’t have mentioned this.

Today, it’s easy to be caught like that. Most of us have a smartphone and are registered to social medias (either Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, …). And among young people, some are tempted to film other people in a peculiar situation. It’s an evolution of our society, where the medias are getting more and more into the details of our private life.

I don’t know what will happen to this politician after this. Unfortunately for her, another city mayor got caught like that last year while she was abroad on vacation. And she lost the elections the next year to the conservative party candidate. I don’t know though if this explains why she lost. But it certainly played a role.

Besides, you don’t have to be caught doing the sexy to put your professional life in danger like that.

A famous weatherman in my country got caught insulting an automobilist at a crossroad. He went into a racist rant, but someone in the street filmed the scene. The next morning, he was fired from his job at his TV station.

To avoid ending up in such a situation like that, it’s best to watch your back when you’re in public.

But in the case of the deputy city mayor, she got caught in her city hall, which was deserted at the time. The two young people had nothing to do there. They claimed they saw a light in the building and went to see what was going on.

And nothing save your private life more than a close door 😉

 

Standard