celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

A kiss on the first date

Is it ok to kiss on the first date? It depends. I’ve been to many dates where I was not sure at all about the man I had in front of me. I’ve only kissed one of my dates on the first date because I found him so sexy with his blue shirt and I felt secured with him. After all, we all look for someone attractive.

Most of the time, I’ve waited at least until the third date to kiss, to evaluate our interactions and our compatibility.  I also believe that men who can wait and still date me until the third date are interested in me. One of my friends told me she considers rude when a man pushes to interact physically on the first date. “It could mean he’s just interested in having sex with you” she says.

Unfortunately, there are no rules when it comes to kiss on the first date. One of my friends told me he kissed his date on the first date, and so far, they are still going strong, after two years.

I guess the best way to decide if you want to kiss on the first date is to listen to your gut. If you don’t feel any spark after the first date, where we are supposed to be at our best, maybe it’s the sign it’s not going well. But if you feel a spark, and want to wait to kiss your date, it’s ok.

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life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Do ya think I’m sexy?

Recently, my friends had to determine on Facebook if I was sexy or cute, and they voted for the second answer. This makes me think, do we need to be sexy? And what makes us sexy?

On that topic, there’s a clear distinction to make between sexy and vulgar. Unfortunately, there’s a thin line between the two, and it’s easy to fall into the second category if you try too hard being sexy. I personally think that Pamela Anderson personifies the best this example. Look at her when she tries to catch the attention:

And now, when she’s not wearing makeup and doesn’t care about her looks:

Personally, I think she’s damn sexy on the second picture, while on the first one, well, she’s simply vulgar.

I asked my friends what does the word sexy mean to them, and this is what they replied:

I believe sexiness comes along with self-confidence, and that this is something that grows as you get mature. You know yourself better when you’re older, and know what works and what’s not with your body. You know what part of it you can highlight, and what makes you look at your best” said G.

It’s easier to feel sexy in the summer than in the winter when you’re hidden behind multiple layers of clothes. However, sexiness is in the attitude, and it all boils down to suggest, not to show off all your assets. I find sexy a shoulder revealed inadvertently by a large t-shirt or the lace of a bra accidentally seen because of a loose shirt, or a skirt a little bit too short/ lifted by the wind” said F.

“You are sexy when you don’t expect it. When you try to be sexy, generally, you don’t produce the effect you just wished. But I’m not saying that you are sexy if you neglect yourself. Just that less is more. With a simple little black dress, you can be as sexy as if you chose a wide cleavage if you feel comfortable in the first look while not in the second one” P. said.

“Sexiness is not necessarily in the looks. I find intelligent people really sexy. Also, a voice can be sexy, or not. The softness of the skin or a subtle smell /perfume can be major turns on for me too” O. said.

Besides, why do we need to feel sexy? I’m often surprised to hear that women generally dress for the other women, not for men. The reason behind this is simple: except gays, men aren’t interested in what’s fashionable, the quality of the fabric, the look,… Women do care, on the other hand. Just in my newsroom, every female journalist can’t help looking at her counterparts to see how they dress, while male journalists only comment when it’s too short, too provocative or simply too ugly.

We try to be sexy when we need to seduce someone. When we don’t have that intention, we don’t pay that much attention to this detail.

So, do you think you’re sexy? And what’s sexy to you?

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