celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

In love with your male friend


Friendship between opposite sex is often difficult, because of the sexual tension. Even if you’re both gay, it’s complicated. One of my female friends, who is lesbian, told me she’s attracted to one of her male friends, who is gay. There’s always a grey line. My friend even flirts with him in front of her significant other and his other one during parties. Usually, it turns into a fight with her significant other who is jealous. And it’s worse when my friend is drunk.  When she drinks to much, and her male friend too, they can’t help to touch each other. Her significant other is so pissed she starts to cry and leave. My friend is often sorry for that, and apologizes all of the time. Her male friend has also difficulties to keep any relationship because of her.

I asks her if she would consider dating her male friend. But my friend replies she can’t because he’s not interested. “I just feel he doesn’t love me like I do” she told me. She never told him she loves him. Because she also loves her significant, and doesn’t want to lose her.

It’s possible to fall in love with two different people, but not at the same time. My friend met her significant other at her gym class seven years ago, while she met her male friend two years ago, in a bar. He was the bartender.

But how do you know you’re in love with your male friend? Usually, if you can’t help talking about him/her to your friends, family, etc, it’s a good indication. If you feel jealous when your male friend likes pictures of other women, or talk to other women, it’s also a sign. But the opposite can also be true, because your male friend can also feel in love with you. A good sign is his jealousy, especially when you date other men. He won’t find any of your dates worth for you.

And the feeling doesn’t disappear if you have an other significant other.


celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, sex, thoughts, women

I’m on fire

I’ve got a bad desire

I was reading recently a magazine where it said that it’s important to masturbate to have a blooming sexual life. This left me a little bit puzzled, since I know around me plenty of women who don’t masturbate a lot, even not at all, and yet feel fully satisfied with their sexual life (and they said that very honestly).  I do belong to this category too. The article said it was important to see yourself in an erotic scene, and that masturbation was a good way to reach that state. I’m not sure. Maybe if you’re a very liberal person, masturbation is the cherry on top of your cake. But when you’re not, how do you reach a satisfying sexual life? The answer is simple: either you don’t have one, either you just rely on your partner to feel desirable.

“Well, I have a really satisfying sexual life, but I don’t touch myself, and I don’t use any sextoy either. Does it make me a terrible lover? I don’t think so. I think it’s BS. What’s important to me is to feel my man’s desire” R., 34, said.

“My man has helped me to feel desirable. He knows how to touch me. He just showed me how to discover my pleasure. But I must say I prefer coming with him than without him”E., 35, said.

“I’m a very cerebral person. My sexual life is also based on that. I need to feel intellectually stimulate to reach an orgasm. Masturbation isn’t a thing for me. But to hear him saying some special words, to see him in some particular circumstances, in particular scenarios, where he can surprise me, that is really turning me on” L., 34, said.

I need to see myself in his eyes to feel desirable. This is my way”  H, 30, said.

So, do you think masturbation is important for your sex life?