broken heart, celibacy, life, love, relationships, thoughts, women

Breadcrumbing

ferry

Breadcrumbing is the act of voluntarily leading someone on with texts, comments and likes on social medias, calls when you can’t pick up your phone, long conversations on Messenger, Snapchat, WhatsApp, Tinder,… with no concrete plans of meeting up.

It’s a grey area in relationships. It’s not a relationship, but it’s not no contact either. Breadcrumbers can be found in professional circles too. On Linkedin, I’ve noticed a lot of people are looking at my profile, without leaving me a message or invite me for a meeting. In the digital age, we all leave our fingerprints everywhere. Before that, we didn’t have that possibility or maybe just leave a written letter or a object to someone without allowing  him/her to answer. Today, with social medias, we can leave a like or a comment just by one click.

It’s a torture if you hope for a relationship with a breadcrumber. It’s also a torture when the breadcrumber is your ex or an former friend who has disappeared from your life. When you don’t really care about this person, it’s not a big deal.

Breadcrumbing can happen after a breakup. Some people can’t really move on and cut all contacts with their ex. You end up with an ex who still sends you some messages, who likes all your posts on social medias, and even comments on it. But that ex never asks to see you again. Sometimes, it helps some people to move on. After some likes on Instagram, Facebook, … and some comments/messages, some people disappear from your digital life. Breadcrumbers are one step of ghosters, those who disappear without a trace. They are a cousin of the “friend zone”.

Breadcrumbers feed their ego. But you can’t count on them to have a real friendship or relationship. There’s nothing more frustrating than having someone who tells you “Speak you soon” or “Let’s touch base later on” without scheduling an actual meet up.

There’s two ways of breaking this circle. One is to confront the breadcrumber and asks him/her what he/she wants from you. The other option is to ignore the breadcrumber. He/she’ll eventually get tired of breadcrumbing you.

If you are a breadcrumber with your ex, it’s also wise to unfriend him/her on social medias.

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broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Caught red-handed by social medias

In my country, the deputy city mayor of a town I don’t want to mention got caught in the middle of a sexual act by two young people who filmed the scene and then published it on Facebook.

The video went viral and caught the attention of several newspapers who put the video on their website with many details about the politician. Even my newspaper (a blog related to it) took the information but didn’t put the video. I’m a little bit ashamed of this. They shouldn’t have mentioned this.

Today, it’s easy to be caught like that. Most of us have a smartphone and are registered to social medias (either Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, …). And among young people, some are tempted to film other people in a peculiar situation. It’s an evolution of our society, where the medias are getting more and more into the details of our private life.

I don’t know what will happen to this politician after this. Unfortunately for her, another city mayor got caught like that last year while she was abroad on vacation. And she lost the elections the next year to the conservative party candidate. I don’t know though if this explains why she lost. But it certainly played a role.

Besides, you don’t have to be caught doing the sexy to put your professional life in danger like that.

A famous weatherman in my country got caught insulting an automobilist at a crossroad. He went into a racist rant, but someone in the street filmed the scene. The next morning, he was fired from his job at his TV station.

To avoid ending up in such a situation like that, it’s best to watch your back when you’re in public.

But in the case of the deputy city mayor, she got caught in her city hall, which was deserted at the time. The two young people had nothing to do there. They claimed they saw a light in the building and went to see what was going on.

And nothing save your private life more than a close door 😉

 

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