celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Lost in emoticons (miscommunication)

Recently, I had a chat with a friend of mine on WhatsApp, and it turned a bit awkward. It went like this.

whatsappscreen

He sent me an emoticon with the head upside down. I didn’t understand this emoticon because I’m not used to this. I only use just the ones very obvious and very usual. I thought he was drunk because it was late. I asked him if he was drunk. He said he wasn’t. Then I asked him why he sent me this, and he replied by another emoticon I didn’t understand  either. I felt powerless and left the conversation after sending him a last emoticon.

GroupLens, a research Lab from the University of Minnesota, found that different people had vastly different interpretations of some popular emojis. Using emojis can be at high risk of miscommunication.

Capture d_écran 2017-06-07 à 20.40.51

So, yes, it’s tricky to use emoticons in a conversation.

My friend is very complexed by his writings, and he usually sends me a lot of pictures and emojis to fill the conversation. Fortunately, he’s a much  better conversation face to face and in groups.

But I wouldn’t recommend anyone to use emoticons to make a move with someone you fancy.

It’s the best way to fall into endless back and forth, and feel frustrated because it leads to nowhere.

A clear and firm invitation to meet for a drink, a coffee, a restaurant, … is always a better option.

Texting has its limit.

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celibacy, life, love, reflexion, thoughts, women

Holidays Greetings

50-happy-new-year-status-for-whatsapp-messages-for-facebook-2017-1

On the 1st of January, I received a short message on WhatsApp from my ex, with a text as original as the one in the picture above. It’s been weeks since we spoke to each other. I’ve stopped contacting him after seeing no reply from him to several of my messages. So, I didn’t expect a message from him at all.

His message was short, wishing me a happy new year. He didn’t mention my name. He may have sent this message to several people in his contact list. It looks like it. I just replied to his message with the same kind of words. I thought he sent this by accident. After all, why would he do that, after weeks of silence?

We’re not friends. Another ex of mine sent me a message wishing me a happy new year. But we’re friends and he doesn’t let me down when I call him or when I leave him a message. Over the years, we’ve managed to build a solid friendship. So I was just happy to receive his best wishes, and I happily replied to him.

Over the years, we both went through up and downs in our life, and he’s always at my side during those periods, while I’m always here for him. But our friendship didn’t come easily. We went through periods where we wouldn’t contact each other.

Why are the greetings so difficult to accept from certain people?

Well, during the winter holidays, some feelings come back. Every year, a friend of mine goes a little bit neurotic because she told me it’s always a drama when she goes visiting her family. This year, my boss shouted she hated the holidays because she hit a difficult patch with her sister.

And this is for those who still have a family. Some people don’t have a family to celebrate Christmas.

But those dinners with the family can turn sour, between your uncle who asks you why you’re still single, when it’s not your mother or father who asks you that question, and between your in-laws who give you plenty of advices for your life you don’t ask for. For those who have a big family, those dinners can be spread on two, three, four, five days in a row.

Yet, this is just for the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve.  Most of us spend the New Year’s Eve with our significant other, our children, and/or friends, and the evening is less difficult.

Despite that, some messages are not very welcomed.

The message we don’t welcome very well come from people who disappoint us. The disappointment can come because those people were silent in our life for months even years. “I received a Happy New Year from my father, who left our family four years ago and didn’t  contact us since then. So it was a shock. But I didn’t want to reply to him” says one of my friends.

I have a friend who didn’t show to my wedding and gave me no excuse for this. He wishes me every year a happy New Year, and a Happy Birthday, but he never asks to see me for a drink or a dinner, or a visit to my home. He doesn’t ask how I am, and how my family is doing. Those messages are really annoying to me because I know I can’t expect anything more from him”  another friend of mine said.

What do you do with those messages? Do you reply a neutral message? Do you ignore the message? Do you call the friend/ family who let you down to say how you feel?

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