blogging, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, sex, thoughts, women

Searching for the Big O


In Un Milagro en equilibrio, Lucia Etxebarria explains in the opening of the book the role of oxytocyn in our brain when we have sex. In fact, this hormone plays an important role in bonding sexual partners, according to wikipedia. This prevents us from being unfaithful (on a woman’s perpective, for men, that’s different).

However, this hormone is mostly creating a bond between a woman and her newborn. That would explain why women tend to privilege their baby over sex with their partner during the six months (and more) after the birth of their child. 

How would you explain some women aren’t able to be faithful to their man, then? Maybe there’s a lack of oxytocin in their brain that triggers all this. Or maybe they don’t have sex enough with their partner.  I met several women who admitted they cheated on their husband because he was too committed in his job and didn’t touch them that much.

Maybe it’s a question of frequency of the sexual intercourses? Or maybe it’s a question of the quality of the sexual intercourse… This hormone is only released after the orgasm, so if you spend your time simulating in bed and never reach that state, well, here you have an explanation.

After all, remember that 30 % of women prefer shoe shopping than sex. That says a lot. Besides, if you can’t have an orgasm, either you have a problem or a bad lover. If it’s the case, chances are you would sooner or later seek the greener grass elsewhere.

So, if you sum up all this, fidelity would come from your ability to have an orgasm  and produce oxytocin. I wish it was that simple.

I met once a woman who explained to me she had her heart badly broken when she was younger, and she wasn’t able to be involved in a stable and sustainable relationship anymore. “I know it sounds tragic, but I get used to have only sexual partners that come and go in my life. I just got addicted to what we call the little death. I feel I’m slowly dying, but in a really pleasant way” she said.

I believe our emotions play an important part in the fact we can be faithful to a man or not.

So, here’s the 5 cents question of the day: if your partner doesn’t give you the big O, will you go and see elsewhere? 

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2 thoughts on “Searching for the Big O

  1. That’s very sad. If my partner isn’t able to give me a big O, it’s an adventure to search for it. Besides, trying out new positions could be fun 😀

  2. That’s very sad indeed, WishBoNe. It’s true you can improve a bad lover, but then, you have to be patient 🙂 . And for new positions, it depends a bit on your morphology. If he’s strong, you can experiment a lot more than if he has the physic of a shrimp 😉

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