The Year Review

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So, this year is almost at its end. Like all the years before, it’s my review of the year. Feel free to use the same questions.

1. What did you do in 2016 that you’d never done before? 

A filmed interview, where I was one of the interviewers, in London.

Versailles.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?  

Yes. Not more in 2017, but different resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes.

4. Did anyone close to you die?  Yes.

5. What countries did you visit?  Spain, The Netherlands, France, Italy, Great Britain, Hungary, Austria

6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016? Peace

7. What dates from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

March 22: Horrible day for my country. Heartbreaking.

November 29: Placebo

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?  Gaining maturity

9. What was your biggest failure? It’s not failure, but rejections hurt.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Yes.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Clothes.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Jennifer Aniston, and all the other Hollywood actresses who stood against misogyny.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? extremists of all kinds.

14. Where did most of your money go? travels.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Concerts!

16. What song will always remind you of 2016?

Dang – MacMiller & Anderson Paak
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?

Happier. Neither thinner nor fatter. Poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Being more able to defend myself against critics.

Accepting more invitations.

Traveling more.

Seeing more exhibitions.

Going to lectures and the opera.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Spending time to wait for people who don’t give a damn about me.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

With my family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2016?

Yes.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No

24. What was the best book you read?  

Presence- Amy Cuddy

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?  Ibrahim Maalouf

26. What did you want and get?  Recognition for my work

27. What did you want and not get? A relationship.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?  

Paterson – Jim Jarmusch

 

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I had a car accident. No one was hurt, thankfully.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?   Luck in love

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?

Pop the colours…

32. What kept you sane? My friends and family.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? 

Gaspard Koening

34. What political issue stirred you the most?  The US elections.

35. Who did you miss? T., but I’ll move on.

36. Who was the best new person you met? S.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016. You can’t force people to love you.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Didn’t we have fun?
Don’t say it was all a waste

Happy Holidays

Waiting for something more on Tinder

Recently, I bumped into my former chief on Tinder. I didn’t believe it was him when I saw his picture, but then, I realized it was him.

It’s not the first time I’ve bumped into someone I know from my professional circle. But my former chief is married and has two children. When I told this to one of my coworkers who knows him personally, she was shocked to hear this. But she admitted she  has  already heard rumors about him some weeks ago. “Promise me if you see my husband on Tinder to tell me about it” she added. “If I bust him on Tinder, he can pack his bags. I will leave him immediately” she said.

Unfortunately, it’s not the first time I’ve seen some of my acquaintances’ husband on Tinder. I bumped into one of my classmates’ husband some weeks ago. I don’t have regular contact with her anymore, so I didn’t warn her. But it’s very disappointing to see her husband and her are constantly writing messages on each other’s wall on Facebook, saying how they love each other. It may signal they are not very happy with each other, at least if we believe this study .

One of my friends also asked me to tell her everything if I see her significant other on Tinder. So far, it hasn’t been the case. Thankfully for her.

“I don’t understand why F. is on Tinder” said my coworker. “I don’t believe it’s for pure curiosity. What happens if he matches with another woman?” she added. He may have swiped right all women on Tinder, as men as way less picky than women on Tinder.

The married men I met on Tinder told me they were looking for a sex friend or a mistress. Unfortunately, very few men are honest and indicate their marital status in their Tinder profile. But most of the married men I swiped right immediately told me they were married. One was lying, but he added in his profile links to a youtube list where there was a video of him dancing with his wife, and saying how wonderful she was. The video was very recent.

Some women are ok with that. It’s not my case.

People can lie on internet (and on Tinder). But when you meet people in real life, it’s easy to spot the liar. If he’s married,  there are chances he won’t be very available for a date, and find a time when it’s easier for him to hide from his wife without alarming her. If he doesn’t invite you at his place, it’s also a sign he’s not very available. If he invites you to places he’s sure he won’t meet some of his friends or his wife’s friends, it’s also a big warning sign. Unless you find a pathologic liar, master in his art of lying, there will always be some hints he’s not really honest with you.

Besides, if deep inside of you, your guts tell you there’s something wrong, listen to your inner feeling. When you meet someone who is right for you, you won’t feel those negative feelings.

Of course, if you’re just looking for a hookup, a sex friend, or someone who’s not really available, don’t follow this advice.

Going back with your ex

Recently, one of my friends told me she was surprised her parents, who divorced 20 years ago, got back together. But it’s very recent. And she doesn’t know if this union can last. “After all, they used to fight a lot when they were together, and in the end, my father couldn’t stay home anymore so he spent his time with his friends, or travelled abroad alone, or just hang out in bars, alone while my mom used to stay home and got neurotic about it” she says.  “Since the divorce, and because my sister and I already moved out of the house, they haven’t spoken to each other. My father was really absent. She didn’t want to speak to him. But they met again at a party where they didn’t know both of them were attending” she added.

My friend is not happy about this. Because she hasn’t forgiven her father for letting his family down after the divorce. But I told her those kind of unions are not 100% guaranteed to last.

Why do we go back to our ex?

When we loved someone, is it possible to ignite the same feeling again?

 A friend of mine would say no, because she feels she’s not the same anymore than when she met her ex for the first time. She met him at a party when she was 16. Back then, she didn’t know what she wanted to do in her life. When later, she needed to boost her career, she found a major hurdle  with her ex who didn’t understand why she wanted to do so. Now she made that change and broke with him along the way, she feels she can’t go back with him. “I wonder what the hell I thought to fall in love with him” she told me.

But in her case, she left her ex in 2008. Eight years later, she couldn’t feel more different.

I guess it also depends on the feeling you have for your ex. If you feel relieved because you broke with your ex, like my friend, going back with your ex is just impossible.

If you feel sad without your ex, can’t stop thinking about him/her, feel jealous because she/he met someone else, you will grateful to go back with your ex. Sometimes, years don’t tame that feeling. Nor a different lover.

Another friend of mine just bought the house of a couple who is divorcing. But she told me they have tried to divorce many times before, only to go back  together over and over again. “I’m sure they will come back together” she added.